What is serendipity?
Created with DreamStudio using “serendipity blue moon”
December 21st is the Winter Solstice in the Northern Hemisphere. A time of reflection and honoring the seasons. A time of light and remembrance, of spending time with family and friends.
As the year comes to a close, I longed for a lighter topic. A little holiday cheer, a break from politics, and an opportunity to be open to a bit of serendipity: happy little accidents. After all the science-based brain research we covered this year (which I love), maybe I need a little magic, a little mystery back in my life to end the year.
Serendipity exudes a randomness. She invites a curiosity and comfortableness with not knowing what’s coming next. To let things happen. To discover something that provides a burst of serotonin when experiencing something new.
I recently dreamt of something about the present. Of experiencing the present as welcoming. Of leaving a gap in time for something to fill my awareness — slipping in as if I’m only watching and not trying to predict. An active passivity. Waiting. Maybe to balance out the polarization of life now.
Serendipity for me is waiting for a pleasant surprise. Why? I don’t know. Maybe it’s a baseline of expectations around little goodnesses. Serendipity is looking on the bright side. The surprise and anticipation of hope. Leaving open the possibility of something for the better, a curiosity for surprise.
Years ago my husband used to walk by a beautiful turn-of-the-century Portland home every time he went to the grocery store. a couple blocks away. He didn’t share with me until much later how much he admired that house. He’d always wanted that house.
What is serendipity? What’s the difference between serendipity and synchronicity? And how can I bring more into my life?
Created with DreamStudio using “serendipity winter solstice”
what is serendipity?
What’s the origin of the word serendipity? Back in 1754, Horace Walpole used the word “serendipity” for the first time. Walpole was a prolific populist of new words (he’s credited with over 200 by the Oxford English Dictionary).
He coined serendipity: the faculty of making happy and unexpected discoveries by accident in a letter to a friend. The origin comes from Serendip, the old name for Sri Lanka. One of the earliest detective stories is The Travels and Adventures of Three Princes of Serendip. The king recognized education requires more than book learning, so he sent his sons out to broaden their experience. Throughout the story, the princes observed their surroundings. They used their growing knowledge to solve problems.
There are 2 variations of serendipity when actively looking for something:
Finding it in an unexpected way
Finding something entirely different but very useful
Paul Hannam’s Everyday Serendipity TedTalk.
In Paul Hannam’s TedTalk, Everyday Serendipity, he describes how he became happier after a significant personal downturn in his circumstances. He calls out 3 important skills: resilience, optimism, and appreciation. By putting these skills together you can greatly improve the quality of your life. He also spoke of hindsight in looking backwards at events and reframing them because sometimes something happens for the better, when initially the situation seemed untenable, like losing a job.
“Everyday serendipity integrates three important skills you need to live a happy life: resilience, optimism, and appreciation.”
—Paul Hannam
Paul uses the example of 16-year-old John Lennon meeting 15-year-old Paul McCartney at an event and going on to form the Beatles. And the Rolling Stones song “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” with the bookend lyric
”But if you try sometimes, well, you might find, you get what you need.”
In our household when the girls were growing up, we created various kinds of “math.” There was “vacation math” to justify the $8 smoothie on vacation because it was, well, vacation.
Or later when our daughters were grown and leaving home, there was “Under the Tuscan Sun math.” In the movie, a writer impulsively buys a villa in Tuscany in order to change her life. The things she wished for: a wedding, a family all happened, but not as she expected.
For us, serendipity came to visit while we were eating dinner the night a woman called asking us to store a turn-of-the-century home on the empty lot we wanted to develop around the corner. My husband wanted to build and my husband’s subconscious wanted that turn-of-the-century home. We got both, but not the way we expected.
The Post-It Note, after a 3M scientist produced a weak adhesive & a colleague used it for bookmarks
Silly Putty came from a failed attempt at synthetic rubber
Sensors to prevent airbags from killing children came from a chair developed by MIT and a Penn and Teller magic show
Velcro hook-and-loop fastener came from a hunting trip and cockleburs sticking to pants when viewed under a microscope
August 18 is Serendipity Day encouraging people to look for & appreciate the unexpectedly lovely things that are always out there if only people took the time to notice them.
Serendipity: Accidental Discoverings in Science by Royston Roberts
Gives the background and history of chance discoveries that led to scientific developments in medicine, astronomy, archaeology, technology, and other fields. Includes inventions such as aspirin, antibiotics, safety glass, rubber, teflon, synthetic dyes, and rayon.
what’s the difference between serendipity and synchronicity?
Carl Jung coined the term synchronicity meaning falling together in time to explain meaningful coincidences. Synchronicity describes the surprise when a thought that occurs is mirrored by an external event. Think of a time when you were thinking of a friend and they called or texted you. Aren’t you more curious about what they want to talk to you about?
Both serendipity and synchronicity are meaningful coincidences. Serendipity refers to coinciding external events. Synchronicity is valued more for psychological or emotional insights. They are often used interchangeably.
For a couple of decades, every time I entertained a job change I’d run into a college colleague at the neighborhood Safeway. We’d both graduated in Madison, but ended up working for the same company in Oregon. The second time I ran into him I just started thinking about a job change. When I saw him a third time, I wasn’t thinking of a job change but knew one was coming. And it did. I haven’t seen him in decades, but I’m retired now.
Created with DreamStudio using “serendipity”
how can I bring more serendipity into my life?
What if? is one of my favorite questions. Whether during my thirty years in high-tech or at home. It leaves room for possibility by suspending disbelief
With my husband’s story of always wanting that house. Coincidence seeds planted themselves when he responded to my question, “Where do you want to build next?” That question-and-answer happy-hour-banter set in motion a series of events that lead to saving a turn-of-the-century home. That house.
Questions are important to ask. Our answers are valuable to listen to. The ones that come before you think too much and filter out all the rational reasons to do or not do something. Something else might happen or comes our way.
We ask questions and make choices every day. Sometimes I think the questions are more significant in inviting serendipity in than the choices afterward. The choice ripple effect.
Asking what could go right may be just as helpful as always asking what could go wrong to prepare for it. Wouldn’t it be refreshing to ask what could go right sometimes too?
To actively invite serendipity into your life, Dr. Neil Farber, adjunct Professor of Psychology at Arizona State University, recommends:
Paying close attention to your surroundings: a key to using serendipity more is first believing that it is happening all around you. Otherwise, you won't bother to look for it.
Keeping an open mind: the difference between luck and serendipity is that luck just happens to you; you don't have to be involved in it. But with serendipity, you're involved in the process of turning it into something fruitful.
Being curious: this means asking deeper questions: Why did this happen? How did this happen? The answers could be applied to a different situation in the future in a way you otherwise wouldn't have considered.
Making connections: without this last step, it'll remain something cool that happened and that's about it. If you want to actually use serendipity to better your life, you have to think about how it can fit into different scenarios.
I’ll leave you with a little rom-com holiday cheer — try rewatching the 2009 movie Serendipity with John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale — and ask yourself Where has serendipity showed up in your life?
Serendipity with John Cusack & Kate Beckinsale
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A couple search for each other years after the night they first met, fell in love, and separated, convinced that one day they'd end up together.
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